On this Valentine's Day
I've decided not to read last year's post about Valentine's day until I post this one. I want to be able to write my feelings without comparing them to 2011. This Valentine's day is my first abroad, and let me tell you something : I am not bitter. It is easier to be o.k with being single in the U.S, because I know that the chances of me finding a Muslim guy in a small old town is very slim. In fact I haven't met any graduate student who is a Muslim, nor an Arab. I am not complaining though. As much as I would enjoy having love in my life, these two years should be the perfect time for me to focus on my studies and on building my professional career.
No, I am not bitter this year- I am happy: I am not crushing on anyone, I am not still recovering from an old love that never was meant to be, and I am not thinking of somebody who left two years ago. This Valentine's day, I am thinking of myself. I am exercising more often, reading more and more, and I am taking care of myself. This year I am not regretting the things I do not have; I am appreciating the things I have: I have amazing parents who teach me that love should be eternal, that your children should not be a copy of your self, but an improvement. I learn that respect is crucial and I learn that keeping your personal life inside the walls of your house is probably the best way to do things. I have best friends that stay in touch with me even if we are miles apart. I have new friends that I won't give up, and most importantly I have myself.
I have always believed that you should fully love, respect, and understand your self before you can give that sort of love to someone else. Today and on this day, I am more in love with my self than any time before. I respect my self although I know I am filled with faults; I understand myself although at certain times, I don't know why I react the ways I do; I love myself because I know that I am the only one who can be me! I am thankful for the roses I received from my parents, the email I received from my best friend although she was travelling, and I appreciate the candy my landlady gave me and my housemates. I appreciate the small and big things in life, and this is why, dear readers, I am not bitter. In fact, I think I am happier today than I was ever!
I've realized on this day that the reason life is not perfect is because we are not perfect. I always thought I would be with my sweetheart from high school. I thought Valentine's days would be filled with a different kind of love, but I am not disappointed. Everything that has happened in my life, including breakups and heartbreak have led to where I am right now- In California, on a scholarship studying something I want to do forever. I could not have asked for more. I am grateful. I know that true love will happen. I won't believe that life with all its beauty can't grant me love. I know that right now in 2012 there are more important things to happen to me. And for all the lovers out there, please appreciate what you have. Love is never to be taken for granted.